What to Do If Your Parent Is Being Scammed

If money may still be moving, do these first

If you just found a wire receipt, a pile of gift cards, a strange crypto transfer, or messages asking your parent to send more money, the first job is not to prove the whole scam. It is to stop the next payment.

Do not start by confronting the scammer. Do not spend the first hour calling every sibling. Do not corner your parent with a courtroom tone while the scammer is still texting them instructions. Secure the accounts first, then sort out the story.

This is crisis triage, not legal or financial advice. State elder-protection rules, bank hold authority, power-of-attorney rules, and mandatory reporting duties vary. But the order is steady: cap further loss, preserve records, report, then decide what longer-term protection is needed.

Why the bank call comes before the confrontation

A parent who has been manipulated may be scared, embarrassed, in love, defensive, or convinced they are helping someone. A confrontation can make them hide the next call. A bank call, on the other hand, may stop a pending transaction, lock down an account, trigger a fraud review, or at least create a timestamped record while the details are still fresh.

The urgency is practical. The FTC reported that adults 60 and older reported about $2.4 billion in fraud losses in 2024, roughly four times the roughly $600 million reported in 2020, with the increase driven largely by losses over $100,000. FTC materials also identify gift cards, wire transfers, bank transfers, and crypto as payment methods scammers push because they are difficult to reverse once completed.[1]

Banks and credit unions are not just places where losses appear after the fact. Federal agencies have told financial institutions that elder financial exploitation is a serious concern, and FinCEN found 155,415 elder financial exploitation-related suspicious activity reports tied to $27 billion in suspicious activity from June 2022 through June 2023. That is suspicious activity, not confirmed recovered money, but it shows why the financial institution is one of the first doors to open.[2]

When you call, use plain language. “My father is 82, and I believe he is being financially exploited. A scammer may have persuaded him to send money. I need the fraud department, and I need to know whether any transaction can be stopped, recalled, delayed, disputed, or reviewed.”

Ask about all of these, without assuming the answer will be yes:

• A wire recall or fraud hold if a wire was just sent.
• A dispute or chargeback path for card transactions, especially if the charge was unauthorized or goods and services were misrepresented.
• A stop payment on checks that have not cleared.
• A review of pending ACH transfers, bill-pay transfers, Zelle or similar transfers, and new payees.
• A temporary block, account freeze, new debit card, new account number, or account closure and reopening if login credentials or account numbers were exposed.
• Removal of unfamiliar authorized users, linked external accounts, saved devices, mailing addresses, phone numbers, and recovery emails.
• Whether the institution has an elder financial exploitation team, vulnerable-adult protocol, trusted-contact process, or branch manager who can document the concern.
• Whether state law allows the institution to delay or hold a suspicious transaction when elder financial exploitation is suspected.

That last point matters because state law varies. Some state laws allow financial institutions to place temporary holds or delays on suspicious transactions when elder exploitation is suspected, but that authority is not identical everywhere.[2] You do not need to know the statute before you call. You do need to ask the question before more money leaves.

If you are not on the account

The bank may not give you account details. Call anyway with your parent present if possible, or ask your parent to call on speaker while you sit beside them. If they will not call, you can still ask the institution how to submit a concern about possible elder financial exploitation. Some institutions can receive information even when they cannot disclose information back to you.

If your parent has named a trusted contact, agent under power of attorney, or joint account holder, that person may be able to help. If the trusted person is also the suspected exploiter, do not route the issue through them just to keep the peace.

If your parent says they sent the money willingly

Do not get stuck arguing over the word “willingly.” Many scams work because the victim was persuaded to authorize the payment. The bank still needs to know if the payment was made under deception, pressure, impersonation, romance manipulation, a fake emergency, a fake investment pitch, a tech-support script, or threats.

Use the shortest useful explanation: “She believed she was helping a grandson,” “He thought this was his bank’s fraud department,” “She was told her account was unsafe,” or “He was coached not to tell family.” You can give the full story later. The immediate call is about limiting damage.

Lock down identity and access next

After the first financial-institution call, move to access control. Scammers often return after the first payment, and they may already have enough information to try a new account, password reset, loan, card, or payment app.

• Change passwords for bank, credit card, brokerage, email, phone carrier, payment app, shopping, cloud storage, and social media accounts that may be connected to the scam.
• Start with email if you can. Email often controls password resets for other accounts.
• Use a clean device if malware, remote-access software, or a fake tech-support session may have been involved.
• Turn on multifactor authentication, preferably using an authenticator app or hardware key if your parent can manage it with support.
• Remove unfamiliar devices, backup emails, forwarding rules, payment methods, saved addresses, and app permissions.
• Freeze credit at the major credit bureaus if identity information may have been exposed.
• Set account alerts for withdrawals, transfers, new payees, password changes, card-not-present purchases, and balance changes.

If the scam involved remote computer access, a fake virus alert, a suspicious link, or a caller who “helped” your parent install software, treat device cleanup as part of financial containment. For the prevention and cleanup side of that scenario, see Protecting Elderly Parents From Malware and Phishing Scams.

Preserve evidence before messages disappear

Evidence does not need to be beautifully organized in the first hour. It needs to exist. Screenshot first, sort later.

• Take screenshots of texts, emails, social media messages, dating-app messages, pop-ups, invoices, receipts, tracking numbers, QR codes, and caller IDs.
• Save phone numbers, email addresses, usernames, profile links, websites, wallet addresses, transaction hashes, bank names, wire instructions, and names the scammer used.
• Photograph gift cards front and back, receipts, activation slips, packaging, and any notes your parent wrote while on the phone.
• Download or print bank and card activity around the suspected period.
• Write a simple timeline: when contact began, what the scammer claimed, what was sent, and what the scammer is asking for now.

Do not message the scammer to say you know what is happening. That can warn them to delete accounts, move money, or intensify pressure on your parent. If your parent is still being contacted, help them stop responding without turning the phone into a battlefield.

Payment method decides the recovery path

Recovery is possible in some cases, but it should not be promised. The payment method matters because some systems have dispute, recall, or hold mechanisms, while others are designed to move value quickly and finally.

Gift cards

Gift cards are a favorite scam payment because once the code is used, the money is usually gone. Still, call the gift card company or retailer immediately. Ask whether the value has been redeemed and whether any balance can be frozen. Keep the physical cards, receipts, activation slips, photos, and the scammer’s instructions. Report the card details through FTC ReportFraud as part of the scam report.[1]

Wire transfer or bank transfer

Call the sending bank first and ask for a wire recall, fraud review, hold, or escalation to the receiving bank if the transfer is recent. If you know the receiving institution, give that information to the sending bank rather than trying to negotiate with the recipient yourself. If a scammer is coaching your parent to say the transfer is for home repairs, investment, taxes, bail, or a family emergency, tell the bank exactly that.

Credit card, debit card, or payment app

Call the card issuer or payment app and ask about unauthorized transactions, disputes, chargebacks, merchant blocks, replacement cards, account closure, and whether any pending transaction can be stopped. If the scammer obtained the card number or login, assume they may try again.

Crypto

Crypto transactions are often hard to reverse. Still, document the exchange, wallet address, transaction hash, screenshots, dates, and the scammer’s instructions. Contact the exchange or platform if one was used. Report internet-enabled crypto scams to FBI IC3 and FTC ReportFraud. Be wary of anyone who contacts your parent promising guaranteed recovery for an upfront fee.

Report it where the case can be seen

Reporting will not make every dollar come back. It can make the loss visible to agencies, connect your family to victim support, and create records that may help if the scammer keeps contacting your parent or the bank asks for documentation.

Use more than one route when the facts fit. These systems do different jobs.

• FTC ReportFraud: File a fraud report when a scammer deceived your parent, including gift card, imposter, online shopping, romance, investment, sweepstakes, tech-support, and payment scams. The FTC’s older-adult fraud reporting is also the source of its reported-loss figures, so these reports help show the scale of the problem.[1]
• FBI IC3: Use the FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center when the scam involved the internet, email, social media, online accounts, crypto platforms, websites, or digital communications.[3]
• National Elder Fraud Hotline: Call 833-372-8311 for help from the Department of Justice-supported hotline for older-adult fraud victims and families.[4]
• Adult Protective Services: Contact APS when the situation involves suspected exploitation of an older or vulnerable adult, coercion, caregiver involvement, safety risk, neglect, or inability to protect assets. If you do not know the local APS office, the Eldercare Locator can be reached at 800-677-1116; CFPB’s reporting guide also routes families toward appropriate elder financial abuse reporting options.[5]
• CFPB resources: Use CFPB’s elder financial abuse reporting guide and older-adult fraud resources when you need help understanding where to report financial exploitation and how to protect accounts.[5]
• DOJ Elder Justice Initiative: Use DOJ’s elder financial exploitation resources for federal elder-justice information and links to help routes.[6]
• AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline: Call 877-908-3360 for scam guidance and support, including help thinking through what happened and what to do next.[7]

The reporting step matters because silence is built into these crimes. The National Council on Aging cites estimates that only about 1 in 24 elder abuse cases is reported. That figure is about elder abuse broadly, not a precise count of financial scam reports, but it explains why official reports are part of protecting the next person as well as your parent.[8]

Talk to your parent in a way that keeps the door open

You may be furious. Save that for a walk, a sibling call, or the inside of your car. The parent in front of you may already know something is wrong and may be bracing for humiliation. Shame is useful to scammers. It keeps victims quiet.

Start with the part that protects dignity: “I’m not mad at you. These scams are designed to trap people. I’m worried they may try to take more money, so I’m going to help you call the bank first.”

Then ask for facts in small pieces. “What did they ask you to send?” is better than “How could you fall for this?” “Are they asking for more today?” is better than “Tell me everything from the beginning.” If your parent is still emotionally attached to the scammer, you may not get the full truth in one sitting. You can still stop new payments.

If the scam is phone-heavy, your next safety layer is call control: blocking, silencing unknown callers, carrier tools, voicemail screening, a second set of eyes on urgent requests, and scripts your parent can use to hang up without feeling rude. For that prevention layer, see 7 Layers to Protect Elderly Parents from Phone Scams.

Use warning signs as confirmation, not as a reason to wait

If you are still wondering whether you are overreacting, look for patterns. Washington State Department of Financial Institutions lists warning signs of elder financial abuse that include unusual bank account activity, sudden unpaid bills, new people taking interest in an older adult’s finances, abrupt changes in financial documents, missing belongings, and an older adult who seems afraid, confused, or isolated around money matters.[9]

Those signs do not prove a scam by themselves. They do justify moving quickly when paired with a payment request, secrecy, pressure, or a story that keeps changing.

If the suspected exploiter is someone close

The response changes when the suspected exploiter is a family member, caregiver, neighbor, romantic partner, agent under power of attorney, trustee, or anyone with routine access to accounts. The first steps are still containment and documentation, but do not hand the evidence to the person you suspect. Do not rely on them to “explain” the missing money before you have protected the account.

If a power of attorney may be involved, read 12 warning signs your parent’s power of attorney is being abused. If the dispute involves a trust or family member interfering with assets, see Can You Sue a Family Member for Tampering With Mom’s Trust? These areas depend heavily on state law and documents, so they usually require local legal guidance rather than a family argument at the kitchen table.

For forward planning, not emergency cleanup, a properly chosen and monitored decision-maker may help reduce chaos. Start with Power of Attorney for Caregivers: A Step-by-Step Checklist when the immediate loss is contained.

If money choices may reflect cognitive decline

A scam does not prove cognitive decline. People with sharp memories get tricked by professional pressure, impersonation, loneliness, fear, and urgency. Still, if the financial behavior is part of a broader change — missed bills, repeated confusion, new impulsive spending, getting lost, medication mistakes, unsafe driving, or a sudden inability to manage familiar tasks — bring a clinician into the picture.

Frame it as safety, not accusation: “This scam scared me, and I’ve noticed a few other things that may be worth checking. Can we talk with your doctor?” For a related caregiver lens, see Is Your Parent’s Fall an Early Dementia Warning Sign?.

Turn the emergency into a safer routine

Once the bank has been contacted, passwords changed, credit frozen, reports filed, and evidence saved, the work becomes quieter. This is where you reduce the chance that the same scammer, or the next one, gets a second opening.

• Keep account alerts on and route them to your parent and, with permission, to a trusted helper.
• Review bank and card activity on a set schedule instead of waiting for a crisis.
• Keep credit freezes in place unless your parent is intentionally applying for credit.
• Use a written “pause rule” for urgent money requests: no gift cards, wires, crypto, bank transfers, or payment-app transfers for emergencies without calling a trusted person first.
• Move important phone numbers into contacts so your parent can ignore unknown callers more comfortably.
• Make a small evidence folder with reports, bank case numbers, screenshots, receipts, and a timeline.
• Agree on one or two phrases your parent can use when pressured: “I don’t make money decisions on the phone,” or “I have to call my daughter before I send anything.”
• Check whether estate documents, account access, trusted contacts, and emergency contacts are current, especially if a spouse has died or a previous helper is no longer safe.

The win is not getting every detail confessed in one sitting. It is not humiliating your parent into agreement. It is stopping more money from leaving, making the case visible through the right channels, and keeping enough trust that the next suspicious call, text, email, or request for money reaches you sooner.

References

1. FTC Issues Annual Report to Congress on Agency’s Actions to Protect Older Adults, Federal Trade Commission, Dec. 2025.
2. Agencies Issue Statement on Elder Financial Exploitation, National Credit Union Administration, Dec. 2024.
3. Elder Fraud, FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center.
4. Providing Help. Restoring Hope., Office for Victims of Crime.
5. Reporting Elder Financial Abuse Guide, Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.
6. Financial Exploitation, U.S. Department of Justice Elder Justice Initiative.
7. AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline, AARP.
8. Get the Facts on Elder Abuse, National Council on Aging.
9. Warning Signs of Elder Financial Abuse, Washington State Department of Financial Institutions.